#43 You're Allowed to Evolve

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[00:00:30] Natalie: Anyways, before we get into that, I just want to do the check in. This is a time, maybe in your busy day, maybe you're just listening to this first thing in the morning, maybe you're commuting to work, maybe you're at work, maybe you're on your way home. I don't know. No matter where this find you in your day, I want you to just check in with yourself and see how you're doing.

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[00:01:05] Natalie: How is your joy today?

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[00:01:14] Natalie: How are you feeling?

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[00:01:43] Natalie: And she was saying that she was planning a really simple party because she didn't want him to be overstimulated. She wanted him to be comfortable. She didn't want all these people there and to have like this big fuss and hoopla. And she was saying that if you had asked her a year prior, she never would have imagined that that's the type of party she would throw for him.

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[00:02:27] Natalie: I'm planning it for him. I just want it to be our family, our closest friend. And she was really confident in that decision. And, you know, as a celebrity, of course, there's a lot of pressure that they face keeping up with the Joneses, right of comparing themselves to others and trying to have parties that don't do each other.

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[00:03:05] Natalie: I kind of shared very similar thoughts to Adrian. I was like, I am not going over the top. He is one and never going to remember this, but at the same time, I do want to celebrate this occasion. And so I did something that I felt comfortable with. And, you know, anyways, this is not about me, this story is about Adrienne.

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[00:03:48] Natalie: And I think it's so important to talk about this and to get that message out more because sometimes people want to hold you to being the same person that you were five years ago, 10 years ago, even a year ago. And a lot of times they remember perhaps your flaws or your mistakes, and they don't even consider that you might not.

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[00:04:27] Natalie: And sometimes It's not a bad thing, but you know, we all mature at different paces and sometimes even you have that friend That's still doing XYZ and you're like actually I'm not interested in that anymore or I just have a different set of priorities I have a different set of interests and Sometimes they have a hard time accepting that

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[00:05:10] Natalie: We're always working towards a closer version of who we want to be, or we're just a deeper, more fuller version of the person that we want to be, or that the person we already are. But there's always growth, because in life, if you're not going forward, then you're actually regressing.

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[00:05:52] Natalie: One person outgrows the other. And relationships can face all these different challenges because sometimes, As individuals grow and evolve, their interests change or their values and their priorities may change. This often leads to a misalignment between partners. So maybe they want shared common goals and values and then you find that they're headed in different directions after a while.

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[00:06:46] Natalie: And we see that happen a lot in relationships too. And another example is, you know, sometimes one is like, maybe both people are headed in the same direction, but one is just going way faster than the other. Maybe they're getting a lot of opportunities or they're just developing personally.

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[00:07:34] Natalie: And so what holds people back from evolving and growing and becoming a better version of themselves? The 1st 1 is fear of failure. So some people feel like They are just scared to take risks or try new things and become that new person because they're unfamiliar with it. And they're like, I don't want to step out and become this new version of myself because what if I fail in being that new version of myself?

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[00:08:23] Natalie: What's the lesson that I can learn here? And I'm not saying that like failure is fun. It's like, yay, let's fail all the time. But actually there's something to be said about. Let's fail and let's fail fast because you learn more and then you can do more. But I think if we were to become more accepting with failing, we would be less afraid to try new things or just to try and.

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[00:09:11] Natalie: And it can even be celebrated. And when we're celebrating the failure, just celebrate the fact that you tried, celebrate taking that step, taking that initiative. The second limiting belief is I'm not good enough. And boy, oh boy, is this a big one. It comes up over and over and over again, and a lot of times if you are doubting your accomplishments or your qualifications Is because deep down you feel like you don't deserve that success or you don't deserve that new identity.

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[00:10:06] Natalie: You're confident in the value that you have and that you recognize it. The third limiting belief is around judgment, a fear of judgment and what others are going to think of you. So as you become this new version of yourself, especially like some people don't have the best reputation, right? Some people want to be very far removed from the person that they used to be.

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[00:10:54] Natalie: A good example of this is like, you always see this in movies when there's a gang, right? And somebody in a gang. Decides they're leaving the gang. They want to change their life. And so they break away, but the people around them are not in support. They're like, no, no, no. You signed up to be a part of this gang.

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[00:11:31] Natalie: And that's really dangerous. And that's why it's so important. Like who is this support circle that is around you? Because they are the ones who are either going to lift you up or pull you down. And so I want to know, have you ever had any of those thoughts before? Do any of them resonate with you?

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[00:12:18] Natalie: It's all about becoming a better version of yourself. And I really hope that this podcast is something that you are listening to in support of becoming a better version of yourself. Because this is why I do it. And it's all, it's not just for you, it's for me too. By me doing this podcast. I am learning. I am improving.

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[00:12:59] Natalie: It changes your outlook and it changes even the way that you feel about yourself. And we're shifting from a fixed perspective to a growth perspective, or we might say we're shifting from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset. So what exactly is a growth mindset? Well, it's a term that's coined by a psychologist.

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[00:13:42] Natalie: They can't be changed. And so a growth mindset is better because it allows you to become more resilient, more adaptable, more flexible to different challenges and obstacles that might come your way.

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[00:14:20] Natalie: Don't hold on to past versions of yourself that you've already shed. You need to step away from the old snake skin when embraced the new you. Your past is your past, so let's focus on the present and focus on your future. Because staying focused on the past for too long will prevent you from moving forward.

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[00:15:03] Natalie: And it was hard to let go of that identity because even though I had worked hard and I was doing a lot of self improvement, personal development work, and I felt like I had changed a lot of those qualities, at least to an extent, I had definitely improved them, for a long time it felt like everybody else only saw the old me.

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[00:15:44] Natalie: They're not even looking at their own selves to realize that actually they have their own work that they should be minding and tending to. And if you know your truth, you just need to stand in it, walk in it and own it, because your actions will speak louder than words. So don't waste your energy trying to convince people of things, trying to convince people that you've changed, convince people that you've grown, et cetera, et cetera.

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[00:16:27] Natalie: It's like I'm Natalie 13. 0. Every year I get a new release, just like the iPhone. And just like we can accept Apple's new iPhone releases, we need to accept people's new releases and their new versions of themselves that they reveal to us. We need to give them a chance. They are allowed to evolve, and that transformation will be even better than the new iPhones.

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[00:17:01] Natalie: So I want to ask you, are you the same person that you were five years ago? Do you feel like you like the person you are right now?

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[00:17:30] Natalie: So now that we've talked about growth and evolution, well, let's say that you do want to be confident in your own journey, your own transformation. What are some practical ways you can do that? Well, the first I would say is you've got to determine what you want out of life because this is going to be your anchor, your blueprint that guides you through the decisions that you make in life.

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[00:18:25] Natalie: JASP is an acronym, so J A S P. And this is a tool I made up again using with my coaching clients, but I find it so helpful. when you're trying to make decisions. So the J stands for joy. Is a decision that you're making, is it going to bring joy to your life? A, is it in alignment? Is it in alignment with your core values?

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[00:19:51] Natalie: Because a lot of other people will always have something to say and you just simply can't take it on. Just let them talk and let their words fly. And obviously if the people are important to you, then you can hear them out, but just because they are of importance to you in your life, it doesn't mean that their words automatically get to take hold in your life and that their opinions automatically get to take hold in your life.

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[00:20:45] Natalie: And what resources can support me? Are there books, podcasts, videos, sermons, etc. that can help me in my journey and just alongside that Are there role models that have already undergone the transformation I want for myself or at least one similar? And if so, is there a story out there somewhere in the world?

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[00:21:32] Natalie: Because that is what makes the transformation stick. And that's what we're after. So if you do find a role model, autobiographies are a really great example of how you can find out about someone's story in depth and understand and see if maybe you can work with them or at least if you can model some of those steps for yourself.

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[00:21:56] Natalie: for today's call to action, I want you to determine the person that you want to become. And then go and become that person. It's just that simple.

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[00:22:29] Natalie: It's your own path. So you can figure it out. There is no wrong answer. I invite you to say today's affirmation with me. I am constantly evolving and expanding,

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[00:22:58] Natalie: in closing, I just want you to know that You can do whatever it is that your heart desires. You do not have to stay stuck. You can evolve. You can grow. You can become that future version of yourself that you want to be. And you can make those improvements moment by moment, day by day. Tomorrow, you can be a better version of yourself than you are today.

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