#66 Season Finale: Farewell to 2023, Reflecting on Hardship with a Growth Mindset

[: 00:00:00

[00:00:23] Natalie: This is an intentional time to just check in with yourself and see how you're doing. A moment to pause, reflect, and touch base with yourself. On a scale of 1 to 10, How is your joy? How is your energy?

[: 00:00:44

[00:00:56] Natalie: So let's get into today's episode. Sometimes it can feel like you're the only one whose life isn't going the way you expected. Perhaps you're going through divorce or your job has destroyed your mental health. Maybe your family member is very ill or your business is on the verge of failing and you can't pay the bills.

[: 00:01:16

[00:01:45] Natalie: And deep down inside your heart, your heart's broken or it's in turmoil and it's in pain. And if that's you, I really want to hold space for anyone going through that because I've been there before. I remember a few years ago having the worst year of my life. My marriage was failing and I still had to put on a happy face around the holiday period.

[: 00:02:06

[00:02:36] Natalie: I really, really am. And I know that it probably feels like you'll never make it to the other side, and if you feel like that, honestly, it's okay. It will take some time, especially if you're still going through it right now. And so if that's you, I would say don't rush yourself, okay? Just take it day by day.

[: 00:02:56

[00:03:27] Natalie: One day you will be able to heal and move forward, but if that's not today, that's okay. Don't rush the process. Now is really the time to take care of yourself, and I want you to consider the 12 elements of wellness. Are there areas that maybe you've really suffered from, maybe there are areas of your life where you've really suffered during this time.

[: 00:03:50

[00:04:12] Natalie: Maybe you're really struggling with mindset and purpose, or maybe your relationships are strained. Maybe you feel really unfulfilled in your work, and you're thinking of A career change, whatever it is, don't beat yourself up. Just use that as your North Star for how you can be intentional about focusing on your well being moving forward.

[: 00:04:35

[00:05:01] Natalie: It's okay to be in survival mode at points in time. You're doing the best you can. Remind yourself of that. You're doing the best you can. And I know another thought is often like, why do bad things always happen to me? Especially if it seems like you're having, you know, difficult year after difficult year after difficult year.

[: 00:05:25

[00:05:56] Natalie: What can I do to position myself for that? And I can really talk from personal experience here because when my husband and I separated a few years ago and he had filed for divorce, I didn't know how to go on. Honestly, life as I knew it and the future that I imagined was dissolving before my eyes and I sank into a really deep depression.

[: 00:06:17

[00:06:38] Natalie: That was really important to me. So I worked with a coach and she honestly changed my life and she helped me get out of my head and really make a plan for myself to move forward. And I did, with grace and strength and sometimes a few bruises along the way, bumps and freezes, but I kept moving forward because I just knew that there was more out there for me.

[: 00:06:59

[00:07:19] Natalie: Maybe there's a reason why you're listening to this podcast episode, because there are a gajillion amount of podcasts out there. So why did you tune into this one today? If you don't know my story, the blessing that only God could provide is that my marriage was actually restored. And most importantly, I was restored.

[: 00:07:41

[00:08:01] Natalie: So if you're in a dark place right now, hold on and just keep moving forward. Even if it's centimeter by centimeter, inch by inch. Now, if you're trying to figure out how to move forward, this is what I tell my clients. Start by figuring out what you want out of life and how you want to feel. That's it.

[: 00:08:22

[00:08:41] Natalie: I want you to think what is a lesson that I can learn from this year. Because there's always a lesson, and I think that that's 1 of the. Redeeming points of going through some really, really tough things. Because nobody wants to go through tough things, right?

[: 00:09:01

[00:09:20] Natalie: Have you learned that you're more resilient? Have you learned that you're stronger than you thought? Have you learned that you're more patient? Have you learned that You need more support. Have you learned that certain people actually were very supportive for you? What, what have you learned about yourself this year out in how you handled situations and how you've shown up?

[: 00:09:44

[00:10:08] Natalie: And that can be fine and dandy, but we don't want to stay so positive that we actually deny ourselves of validating the experiences that we're currently going through. There's nothing wrong with writing out something, as a matter of fact, of what it is, right? Because it's not like we're saying, oh, woe is me, this happened to me, oh my gosh, life sucks forever and ever, and this is my future forever.

[: 00:10:34

[00:10:55] Natalie: If people have let you down, if people have hurt you, if people have betrayed you or disappointed you, if something, a situation happened that You know, has thrown you back or set you back, if there's been a loss, whatever the situation is that's been really difficult for you to handle, write it out and write out the details, because this is a very cathartic experience.

[: 00:11:19

[00:11:42] Natalie: But I just need to cry every couple months to really get things out. But if I'm in a space in life where I'm really frustrated or stressed, I need like a good, deep cry. And once I get it out, I feel so much. Because I think in life, society tells us to hold it all together, be strong, like, you know, keep your chin up, walk strong, walk with your head up.

[: 00:12:14

[00:12:35] Natalie: And the walk is getting harder and harder to do, but instead of pausing to take off some of those chains and to deal with that trash behind you, you just keep walking. So eventually you're going to burn out, right? Like, you just don't have the sustenance, you don't have the ability to sustain that long term.

[: 00:12:54

[00:13:10] Natalie: Maybe you have to visualize yourself being in that difficult situation, and that will trigger you to cry. So you might have to be creative in thinking about how can you tap into that space. But once you can, just cry and let it out. Hopefully you're in a space where, you know, it's a safe space, you're at home, hopefully nobody else is there.

[: 00:13:31

[00:13:49] Natalie: And then just cry out into open space and let it out. And then after you cry, just give yourself a hug. Like, look in the mirror and give yourself a hug, and just give yourself back some love, you know? And the last thing I would say is to shape it up. Now this is a tool that I teach my coaching clients because it's a tool that I learned myself.

[: 00:14:14

[00:14:52] Natalie: It's not the one that I watched, but I thought this one was decent. The one that I watched is within a private course, so I can't share it. Um, and that the only real difference was that they had music, right? And they were shaking in their style, but this is still a good example. I do like the option of having music when I'm shaking.

[: 00:15:10

[00:15:34] Natalie: But, it's literally just shaking your body. And there's no rhyme or reason. With me, I just went with the flow of the music. You might be shaking both hands at the same time. You can shake up, you can shake down, you can shake your legs. And I'm telling you, oh, it just helps me feel so, so good. And I think it'll really help you in releasing anything from this year.

[: 00:15:59

[00:16:22] Natalie: And then I want you to rip that paper up into as small a piece as possible, like smaller than a pen, as small as possible. And then put all of those pieces of paper in your hand, and blow them into the air, and say bye bye. There's something about that blowing action that really solidifies it, and it's a really good visualization that you can have in your mind, any time those situations try to come back, because they always come back, right, they come back to your forebread, all you'll have to do is.

[: 00:16:55

[00:17:14] Natalie: So I want you to know though, you can take control of your life at any point. Don't let your current circumstances dictate your future trajectory. For today's affirmation, I want you to stay with me. I'm stronger. I'm wiser. I'm moving forward. In closing, remember that 2023 is one year. You can move forward.

[: 00:17:43

[00:18:12] Natalie: To learn more, you can book a free discovery call in the show notes, and we'll discuss your current challenges, what's impacting your mindset and wellness, and create a plan to move you forward towards your goals. Because again, you deserve to thrive and have happiness, fulfillment, and a deep sense of purpose.

[: 00:18:29