S2. E31. Reclaiming Wellness: A Journey of Ancestral Roots, Self-Worth, and Community Empowerment w. Reema K.

reema-ancestral roots

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[00:00:28] Mhm.

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[00:00:46] Reema: Yeah, great question. I love talking about this. It's my little baby right now. So The Hero Collective is an online booking platform of vetted, holistic and wellness practitioners.

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[00:01:15] Reema: So on the other end, We also are a very rich community of practitioners who support each other, who help each other. We have coworking sessions and business connections and just to really empower and uplift each other as we climb.

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[00:01:34] Natalie: How did this come to be? How did you get into this line of work?

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[00:02:00] Reema: And so I'd often ask my grandparents about things and I, I'm from a population that is displaced, so we no longer have a home or a land to, you know, go back to when, you know, we're sometimes racially told to go back to our, our country or our land. I don't really have that. So that curiosity started very young, but as I started to grow older and have like these, like depression or anxiety, I was always looking for alternative ways to support myself and find that sense of healing, simultaneously a sense of connection and that connection to my roots.

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[00:02:56] Reema: And what I've noticed was that when I was in those dark, dark spots, I didn't know where to look, like, where do I look for somebody? And so, I really kind of built the Hero Collective for that version of me back then that needed it.

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[00:03:44] Natalie: Yeah, no, I think that's really interesting. And I'm sorry that you kind of, you know, you've had these harmful experiences because it's really frustrating when you are. seeking healing, or you're seeking restoration, you're seeking to improve your own well being, and then the treatment that you encounter, or the practitioner who's delivering the treatment delivers it in a harmful way, so you end up worse off for it and that can obviously prevent a lot of people from moving forward again, right, from wanting to trust that there are That something is out there that would work for them.

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[00:04:35] Natalie: And for me, disruptive wellness at the heart of it is how do you own your own wellness? What do you want? How do you want to feel? And then how do you express those two things? So when you reflect on your life experiences what are some of those moments that have really challenged your wellbeing? And then what was that conversation like internally to say, I don't like this.

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[00:05:04] Reema: Yeah. One thing that I just want to share is like a quote that someone said to me the other day that for me embodies all of this. It's you know, anytime that we have a material breakdown, there's always a spiritual breakthrough.

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[00:06:01] Reema: It actually forced me to actually be like, no, I'm brilliant. As a woman of color, we're often told to be humble, right? We're taught to do and be of service and be humble. But in this instant, it was not about humility. It was about owning my brilliance and speaking that truth. And I think that for me was a real strong form of wellness and owning my wellness because it was owning how I deserve to be treated and then also taking control of like how much I love myself and falling deeply, deeply, deeply in love with the being that I was because I was forced to.

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[00:07:12] Reema: That's not to say that I think I'm perfect. I think we're always in a form of, you know, an iterative form of transformation. The Hero Collective, I know I'm bringing it back to this, but the Hero Collective, the logo is actually a butterfly with a diamond. And Natalie, that's actually why it is. The butterfly represents the fact that we're always in this iterative form of transformation, but the diamond is that we're already whole and complete.

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[00:08:02] Reema: To take advantage of this value of human beings, right? So I find that as I've evolved, so has this brand or this company, the Hero Collective, and that totally completely reflects how I see myself and how I see the human existence, both individually and collectively.

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[00:08:26] Natalie: And I think something you said is so important about knowing the inherent value that you have as a person, right? Not because of your role, not because of your contributions, not because of your title. But because you are a human being on this planet, there is already value and worth within you. But do you identify that for yourself?

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[00:09:06] Natalie: actually upholding your worth to the same level that you think you are. that's like a really important distinction and I'm really happy that you explained that.

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[00:09:24] Reema: I think that we're in an epidemic of loneliness because we've really disconnected, not just from each other, but from this realm of understanding that we're not connected.

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[00:10:03] Reema: And for me, that really helps me feel protected. It gives me the sense of like relief. It gives me the sense of like, it's, it's the magic that I bring to every space conversation, lesson, whatever it is. It's not just me. It's the thousands of, of voices and spirits that live in me with me and are along with me.

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[00:10:54] Reema: And on the other end, it's also a form of decolonization. It's a form of reclamation. We repeatedly see in the world practices being used or shared from a place of harm, right? So we're sharing, you know, Reiki and we're not acknowledging that the Japanese roots of where it comes from. And yes, we can also say that we don't really know the roots of anything because there's so much erasure, but what we do know we should share, right?

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[00:11:54] Reema: And, you know, as, You know, the white man starts to allow these practices into, into the space. Then we start to think that they're valuable, but I want to, I want to change that. I want us to honor the roots that what we have and you know, what we know, the practice that we share without waiting for permission from the white man to approve it.

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[00:12:37] Natalie: So these are all really deep level, high level, critical ways of thinking, and it's important for us to engage in conversations about that. You know, different modalities, different practices, and what is the history behind it and what's the lens from which we're viewing it and interacting with it. And I'm curious to know, maybe from your personal experience, are there any specific practices or rituals from your ancestral heritage that you found particularly transformative or healing or empowering in your own wellness journey?

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[00:13:30] Reema: So she's my partner in building the Hero Collective. She passed nine years ago, this August. Her partner passed away very young and I never met my grandpa, but she was very close to her brother who can continue to be in relation with her. And in my life as well, every Sunday, him and I would have a sit down.

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[00:14:15] Reema: And finding our purpose. and coming in on ourselves and helping me regulate my nervous system because he could obviously identify that I wasn't doing that well in those times. And so you know, meditation and yoga is very integral to my everyday. Another thing that I do a lot is journaling, but the journaling is not, is not what you might think.

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[00:14:52] Reema: It was always Dear Nana. And I would talk to him. And so I still do. I still will write to him and have these like you know, ethical conversations with him. And so those three things, I think, keep me really afloat. You know, before we started recording, we talked about going for walks, and I love going for walks.

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[00:15:27] Reema: I do them with a sense of joy and I, and I allow myself to bring in those practices as I need them. And as I want to engage with them.

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[00:15:44] Natalie: And I think that specifically in a time where, you know, a lot of people have migrated and they're disconnected from either their family their ancestors, or even the actual physical spaces and places from which they their ancestral roots lie. I think Being conscious and intentional about how can you revive that for yourself or how can you maintain those connections is really important.

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[00:16:24] Natalie: So it's not so logical and black and white, but I think that's like a really interesting way of, and I think sometimes we just do have to get creative, right? When we're displaced or when we're disconnected from those we wish we could have been connected to, or wish we were still connected to, what are ways that we can still foster some sort of, you know, Authentic connection that's going to be meaningful for us fulfilling for us and still help us in our journey.

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[00:17:16] Natalie: You can just feel it in the air. So even me, just placing myself. In that space, in that country, walking the walk, breathing the air. Like it was, it was so impactful for me. And that's like even another way that people can, can find some sort of, of solitude and connection, even if you don't know what it is you're connecting to.

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[00:17:58] Natalie: And I can't give the explanation of it's in our DNA or where it is. I don't know all of that. But I think that when you belong, you just know. And when you connect, you just know. But on the Other side of it. So yes, we have this really powerful connection to our ancestral roots, but at the same time, sometimes we have a lot of intergenerational trauma.

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[00:18:32] Reema: Yeah. Great question. I think there's a lot. I think when we categorize emotions as good or bad, I think that's actually where our big our first misstep is right. Every experience. Every emotion is bringing us closer to that version of feeling a sense of peace and connection. And life also makes more sense backwards, right?

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[00:19:13] Reema: And, you know, when people talk about India or like this, like land, I'm like, I, I think I'm Indian, but I'm not sure and so I think that there was you know, as a child, right? Like that anger, that, or that confusion turned into anger. And I think I just needed to experience what anger looked like in different spaces.

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[00:20:01] Reema: And so I allow myself to acknowledge the feelings that come up when we're talking about other populations that are being displaced or have been displaced and the impact that it's having on that, that community, right? As we're dividing families, we're separating families because that's really how we harm the future generations of any community.

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[00:20:42] Reema: So if I'm working through this one, how do I move up to this emotion? And then we can't go from anger to joy. Right. Right. We have to go from anger to then maybe we go to a sense of, you know, disassociation even. And maybe that takes us to, I don't know all the, all the layers, but we have to allow those steps to take place so that we can then come to resolve that and transmute that to something else.

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[00:21:22] Reema: You know, Natalie, I feel like you're going to be someone who I'm going to call on and who I'm going to get to have conversations with to learn with and learn from, right. And I learn with each other, like from each other. And so I think it's really important to open yourselves up to connections and to help you also find that, but also find spaces where you could find that coach or that healing person, you know, shameless plug, jump on the Hero Collective to find that support for you.

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[00:21:50] Natalie: No, I love that. Thank you for sharing. And I think it's so important too, to understand that You have to give yourself grace for where you're at and it's okay. And I think so you mentioned a couple of codes. So my most favorite code of all, and I quote on this podcast all the time is to thine own self, be true.

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[00:22:31] Natalie: How do I process this? How do I kind of move to the next level? But just giving yourself grace to recognize this is where I'm at right now. And all the emotions are valid, right? And I think of emotions just simply as, information and then it's up to you to decide what you do with that information.

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[00:23:18] Natalie: But are there any other suggestions

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[00:23:30] Reema: I felt very disconnected. I didn't uphold the ways of code switching or you know, my proximity to whiteness. As many others in my family did. And that was hard. It was hard because I wasn't Indian enough. I wasn't white enough. I wasn't, you know, and, and I think a lot of people can relate to that, but I also you know, I was writing to my grandpa who's dead and I've never met.

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[00:24:16] Reema: And I would say, just do what you like doing and just do it. And those people will come to you, whether it's collecting rocks or, you know, joining a meditation group or, you know, jumping on the hero collective. We have a ton of community events happening, like come find your people. But I also want to say that.

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[00:24:54] Reema: The stress is caused because we're in a system of colonization and patriarchy, we're in a system of, toxic work environment, we're in a system, right? And so You know, being in community is really a radical act. And so when we move towards Healing in community, having the conversations you and I, Natalie, are having, you know, building those connections where it can be so healing, that in itself is healing.

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[00:25:33] Reema: That's what I would say is lean into that and try to move away from this individualistic belief that healing has to happen alone because it doesn't, it never did. It never has been. We just have adopted this belief because we're in a colonized world.

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[00:25:58] Natalie: It's come up a couple times on the podcast, but community is so powerful and healing and community is so powerful, but the thing that prevents us from it Is everybody wants to keep to themselves. They want to keep the hurt, the pain, everything to themselves. And so it prevents community, but then it also prevents healing.

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[00:26:35] Natalie: Or if they're diverging from each other, why is that, right? Because at the end of the day, if you're well, you would think and hope that the people around you are going to be well too, so that everybody can experience the fullness of life, right? That should be our want.

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[00:27:04] Reema: I think everything starts with a pause. I think, you know, the reason that there's so much anger in the world, there's so much confusion, there's so much division, there's so much cancel culture is because we're not pausing. So I invite people just to start there to be honest. And that could look like in the morning when you get up, when you pour that glass of water, you watch each drop.

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[00:27:49] Reema: The farmer is the person who then picked the fruit, the person who then brought the fruit on the truck, the grocery store clerk, like all those things. And I think when you start to do that, you'll start to invite the sense of curiosity and this sense of connection that Even the food on your plate, even the water in your tap is connected to something and that'll open yourself up to them being like, okay, so who, how, what's my connection to lineage?

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[00:28:42] Reema: And although those feelings and those experiences are very valid, I think How do we bring grace and compassion to that experience? Things would have to be hard, right? We believe we've created this belief that healing is hard. And then we come to this light. Why don't we re why don't we flip that narrative and say, well, can healing be can it be easeful?

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[00:29:23] Reema: And that might, that might in like create. Triggers of like memories or things from your own background start to go to like thrift shops and things like that where you can start seeing and looking at things because it's amazing what the human body actually remembers and what we can actually remember when we look at things too.

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[00:29:57] Reema: And as you connect to those ancestral lineages, whether that be through meditation, whether that be through a practice that you're learning from, from somebody from your own community or journaling or just sitting in silence, take note of those things, right? Take note of them and truly honor them. Allow those tears to come through, show grace and respect and love for those practices so that you're building that connection and knowing that that connection will continue to spiral upwards.

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[00:30:45] Natalie: And so I appreciate the easeful way of healing. Like, that's something I'm going to take away and think more about that. Because I think, you know, when we talk about it. therapy, we always talk about doing this hard work and some of it is hard. I'm not going to lie, but how re imaginative to consider what would it look like to have easeful healing instead, like that's something I have to go away and ponder.

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[00:31:22] Natalie: Before we wrap up, we're going to transition to rapid fire.

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[00:31:25] Natalie: Are you ready? Yes. Love it. Okay. So first question is nice and easy. What is your go to karaoke song?

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[00:31:34] Natalie: What's a really good book that you would recommend everyone should read?

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[00:31:38] Reema: Prophet by Khalil Gibran. It's my favorite. It's poetry. It's the best. It's gorgeous. Also, bell hooks, because you were talking about reimagining bell hooks, all about love, all things bell hooks. It, you know, we're talking about reimagining lean into that. Let's see how you can reimagine how we lead and see life.

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[00:32:04] Reema: love it.

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[00:32:07] Reema: Cuddling with my dog, Nico, and a good cup of Indian chai because it makes me feel so connected to. You know, just the art of making tea. That's like what my, my parents did it. My grandparents, my, you know, my great great grandparents did it.

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[00:32:30] Natalie: love that. And this is our final question in three words. What's your version of Wealthy life. And for me, wealthy is spelled W E L L T H Y

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[00:32:51] Natalie: freedom. Service community. All right. Again, Reema, thank you so much for coming on the show.

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[00:33:02] Reema: absolutely. So the website is www. thehiracollective.

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[00:33:20] Natalie: Awesome. all of Reema's information will be in the show notes and to listeners continue to serve yourself, your loved ones, and your communities from a full cup.