S2. E38. Off the Cuff: No, or subject to change

Natalie: 00:00:00

Give yourself permission to say no.

2

: 00:00:04

You know, I know a lot of times people

commit to things and they sign up

3

: 00:00:08

for events or activities or they give

their word that they're going to be

4

: 00:00:12

there, but then circumstances change

and as you get closer to the date

5

: 00:00:16

or sometimes even on the day of you

realize either you don't have the energy

6

: 00:00:21

to do this, you no longer have the

desire, or you don't have the capacity.

7

: 00:00:27

But sometimes you just push through

because you say, well, I already said yes.

8

: 00:00:32

But I want you to give yourself

permission to also say no.

9

: 00:00:37

If you are not going to be your best,

and if you would be happier to not

10

: 00:00:43

go to the event, then honour your own

happiness and your own well being.

11

: 00:00:50

And sometimes that requires

making tough decisions.

12

: 00:00:54

On Saturday, I really

wanted to go to an event.

13

: 00:00:57

I had all the desire in the world.

14

: 00:00:59

I knew it would be a lot of fun.

15

: 00:01:01

But I did not have the physical capacity.

16

: 00:01:03

I didn't have the energy.

17

: 00:01:04

I was exhausted.

18

: 00:01:06

So I had to say no.

19

: 00:01:10

And yes, I threw an apology.

20

: 00:01:12

I apologized a couple times actually.

21

: 00:01:14

Because there was

multiple people involved.

22

: 00:01:15

But at the end of the day, as

soon as I said no, I realized

23

: 00:01:19

it was the best decision.

24

: 00:01:20

Because I was tired and I

went to sleep nice and early.

25

: 00:01:24

And I slept for the entire night.

26

: 00:01:25

So clearly my body needed it.

27

: 00:01:28

So I want you to evaluate how are you

using your body signals to indicate

28

: 00:01:34

whether you should or should not be

taking on more activities, more work.

29

: 00:01:39

We have to really prioritize sleep

because sleep is the foundation of

30

: 00:01:43

our physical well being, but it also

connects to our mental well being.

31

: 00:01:49

And so if you're not getting enough

sleep, if you don't have enough

32

: 00:01:51

energy, it's going to be really hard

to show up in a vibrant and authentic.

33

: 00:01:58

and contributive manner anyways.

34

: 00:02:01

And so, you know, you've ever been to

some of those events and sometimes you

35

: 00:02:03

go to these events and you, you talk to

someone and you're like, why are you here?

36

: 00:02:07

Like it would have been

better if you stayed home.

37

: 00:02:08

Maybe their energy is off or they're

negative or the vibe is just not vibing.

38

: 00:02:15

And so sometimes maybe that person

just needed to sleep or maybe they just

39

: 00:02:18

needed to say no and stay home instead.

40

: 00:02:21

So don't be that person.

41

: 00:02:23

You get to decide for yourself and

just give yourself permission to

42

: 00:02:26

back out of events when necessary.

43

: 00:02:29

Now, am I saying to just back

out of every single event?

44

: 00:02:31

No.

45

: 00:02:33

And another tip for you is

instead of having to back out of

46

: 00:02:36

events, maybe don't give a yes.

47

: 00:02:39

I learned this from one of my friends.

48

: 00:02:41

They just take a really long

time to commit to things.

49

: 00:02:45

And yes, this can be annoying for

the organizer and everybody else.

50

: 00:02:49

But from their perspective,

they don't want to commit to

51

: 00:02:51

something and then back out.

52

: 00:02:53

So they will not tell you yes until they

know for sure they're coming, usually

53

: 00:02:57

the day before or sometimes the day of.

54

: 00:03:00

Now this might not always be possible

depending on what the situation is,

55

: 00:03:03

what the event is, or the activity is.

56

: 00:03:06

But sometimes we're giving, you

know, commitments really early.

57

: 00:03:11

Like sometimes months in advance,

and I also think that's a little bit

58

: 00:03:15

unfair sometimes too, because I don't

know what's going to be happening

59

: 00:03:19

in my life in two or three months.

60

: 00:03:21

Should I be committing

to a social event now?

61

: 00:03:24

You know, if it's for

work or something, maybe.

62

: 00:03:27

But even still, those things change too.

63

: 00:03:29

So everything is subject to change.

64

: 00:03:32

So give yourself permission, not only

to just say no, but subject to change.

65

: 00:03:39

Until next time, continue to serve

yourself, your loved ones, and

66

: 00:03:42

your communities from a full cup.