S2. E36. Off the Cuff: Fight for Yourself

Natalie: 00:00:01

Sometimes you have to just fight for yourself.

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The thing is, in life, there's a

lot of times that other people are

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trying to dictate what is best for

you, what you should be doing, how

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you should be living your life.

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It might be your family, it might

be your parents, it might be your

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boss or friends, just other people.

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A lot of people seem to have opinions

on what they think is best for you.

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And sometimes they're just completely

out of line, and sometimes they're

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doing it out of care and concern.

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But you always have to draw a

boundary, because at the end

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of the day, it's your life.

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So what is it that you want?

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Is it that you want to live for

other people, for their hopes

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and dreams and versions of you?

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Is it that you want to live for yourself?

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Because at the end of the day, they're

the ones who are going to be happy

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that you did what they wanted to do.

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But you're going to be resentful,

bitter, disappointed, frustrated,

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because you never got to pursue

your version of happiness.

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And so it's important to fight for

yourself and your version of happiness.

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What is it that you want out of life?

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What are the things that you want to do?

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How do you want to spend your time?

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Who do you want to spend it around?

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How do you want to feel

on a day to day basis?

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Right?

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These are things that

you have to ask yourself.

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And then once you figure it out,

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you create a plan to get there and a part

of creating that plan to get there is

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advocating for yourself and anticipating

any obstacles that are going to come

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along the way to deter you because you

have to be proactive and thinking about

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how can you overcome those barriers

so that you can still go forward and

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pursue what's going to make you happy

and bring you ultimate fulfillment.

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The other way that you might need to

fight for yourself is When you're in

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a situation that is not beneficial

to you, so you might be in a toxic

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relationship, maybe you are in a

negative work environment, maybe you

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are in a dysfunctional friendship,

whatever that situation is, You have

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to fight for yourself to get out of it.

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It's not like the other person is going

to say to you, Hey, you know what?

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I've noticed that there's been

some friction or I noticed

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everything's not good between us.

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Let's just fix this.

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Or I'm going to change my ways.

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I'm going to start respecting you.

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I'm going to start putting you first.

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Like we would love for that to happen

and I think a lot of times we wait just

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hoping that magically Situations would

fix themselves or that people would

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approach us and say the things we want

to hear give the apology Agree to move

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forward, but that's not how things are

So we have to take the reins in our hands

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and if you're in a situation that doesn't

align with your values doesn't align

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with that vision of happiness and How you

want to feel that you determined before?

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Then you need to fight for yourself

to get out of that situation.

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And sometimes it's easier said than done.

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Sometimes it's not just a clean walk away.

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Sometimes there's an untanglement

that needs to happen.

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And that could take a while and

that could be a process and it

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could be ugly and it could be messy.

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And so I think it's important

to prepare ourselves mentally.

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If you are going to exit a

negative situation, put some

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thought into it ahead of time.

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Think about what are the

worst case scenarios?

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What are the things that might

prevent me from getting out of this?

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What are the things that I can anticipate

are going to be messy and are going

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to be challenging and are going to be

roadblocked that you can put in place?

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What are the resources?

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What are the strategies?

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Who are the people around me

that can help me so that I

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can navigate these roadblocks?

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Because it doesn't mean it's impossible.

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It just means it requires

creativity, skill, and sometimes.

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Just sheer determination and willpower.

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But when you fight for yourself, you

really support your mental wellbeing

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because you're putting yourself first.

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So a lot of people they're doing,

you know, things to take care of

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their physical body, they're eating

right, they're sleeping, they're

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exercising, they're getting fresh air.

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But if your mindset is off, if your sense

of purpose and your sense of value, your

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sense of worth is off, you aren't whole.

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So try to treat yourself in a

holistic way, really prioritizing

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all aspects of your well being,

including your mental well being.

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And fight for yourself, because

you're worth it and nobody's going

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to fight for you as hard as you will.

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Until next time, continue to serve

yourself, your loved ones, and

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your communities from a full cup.